In a last ditch attempt to further procrastinate studying for finals, I was stumbling through some websites when I found this random statistic that literally blew my mind:
Only 12% of hookups eventually lead to relationships. TWELVE PERCENT.
Being a girl who has had her fair share of hookups and is still single, I don’t know why that statistic was so shocking to me. But it was. I stared at that one line for 10 minutes. Only 12%. 12 percent. That means 88% of hook ups lead to nothing but a walk of shame and that awkward post-hook up interaction when you have to return his basketball shorts.
It’s just pretty shocking when you see it laid out like that. Especially when you consider the fact that the whole hook up culture has become the dominant way of interacting and “dating” in your twenties. It makes me think twice about all those weekend convos with my girlfriends when we gush about whatever boy we made out with the night before. We all talk and plan and are convinced it’s going to turn into something bigger; after all, So and So met started going out with her long-term boyfriend after a hook up. It is possible.
But it’s not. At least for the majority of us. And now, it feels so pointless when you know that probably nothing real is going to come out of it.
Now, I have totally been guilty of some innocent, feelings-free hook-ups, and, yes, they can be SO much fun in the moment. But the fact is, while we girls can enjoy a random hook up or two, most of us (don’t get mad at me, I know that this is not true of ALL girls) do eventually want a boyfriend. And following a guy back to his apartment for a night of fun is clearly not the way we’re going to find one.
This statistic was a very big wake up call for me; it made me realize that I don’t really want the casual thing anymore. I want more than just friends with benefits or casual dating. I want a real relationship, one where he really knows me before we hop into bed together….
The problem is, if the hook up culture is how the majority of twenty-somethings interact, what am I supposed to do?
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