Man With A Plan

I have a really good friend in Sydney who beyond being one of the most intellectual people I know, fascinates me in her ability to answer tough questions and solve the problems of society by employing sound uncomplicated logic. Ignore all extraneous variables- "Ellen Logic" is the way of the future. Here, I am going to solve one of the most common issues that come up in relationships using "Ellen Logic".

You see, when it comes to dating, men should make the plans. I think this would solve a lot of dating drama. Men have a natural knack for making plans, be them devising Halo strategies, bank heists, or religious genocide. But I’m not here to reinforce gender norms, much. I’m just making a decision that I think will benefit everyone. Men should make bold, creative, and romantic plans. In return, women should have fun. Because dating is fun. What did I write? Yes: dating is fun. It’s giggles and burping butterflies, and like any adventure it can end with a daring escape from a troll. Fun! Sometimes women make their dating lives sound like “The Passion of The Christ,” - it doesn't have to be this complicated-- I PROMISE!

It’s a classic case of “win/win” if we can all agree than men should make the plans. Men get to save a buck. Women get proof that the man is capable of thinking about her when she’s not around. Simple! I have a theory, backed up by statistics I just made up, that 103 percent of women are overworked and 89.527 percent of men are underworked. Women are high-strung and men are Jell-o salads. During The Manic Recession, more men were laid off. Economic turmoil causes anxiety. Anxiety is caused by a loss of control. The Average Joe can’t control the fluctuations of the global financial system.

But you know what a man can control? Making a plan. A little creativity can save a lot of scratch. Especially when wooing a woman. Wooing women is, frankly, the whole point of a man's life as far as I’m concerned. I’m pretty sure man was not put on this Earth to perfect the “pizza taco.” Seriously. The first bridge was built by a man who had to cross a river to get to a prehistoric hottie. Men move mountains, swim seas and save the planet all to win the favor of the lady. Making the date night plan is part of this noble tradition.

And I’m stressing the money factor because if one guy who’s a little insecure about his finances reads this, and decides to, say, scan the newspaper to look for a free gallery opening to take a date to, then I will swell with pride. A single hot sauce tear will roll down my baremineralled cheek. But seriously: free gallery openings are great. We, chicks dig that stuff. There’s a gallery here in the station (Benjamin Knox) that boasts some interesting works of Aggieland-- that also happens to be attached to the greatest affordable italian cafe in a 50 Kilometer radius.

I hear women complain that the men in their lives don’t make plans. That these dudes are apathetic. Conversations go like this: “What do you want to do tomorrow night?” He shrugs and says, “I dunno.” Women get frustrated by this, express said frustration, and are immediately dismissed as “nags.” But I know better. "Ellen Logic" tells me that plans are proof that a man is capable of holding you in his head and heart when you’re not there in the flesh. Out of sight, but still on the mind. It’s nice to be thought about. This is settled then. Men make the plans. Women go out with those men. Everybody is happy. Dating is fun!

I love it when a plan comes together. Don't you?