Just as the question: ‘Do you want to go out tonight?’ has many answers besides an outright ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ (for example, ‘Yes, if we can be home early’), so does the question ‘Would you like to have sex?’. According to Dr Klein, there are many more ways to discuss possibilities, for example by saying: ‘I’m a little tired, if we wait for tomorrow, I’ll have more energy,’ ‘It’s already late, but could we make it quick?’ or ‘I could, but that work deadline is so much on my mind, wouldn’t be there 100 per cent. Do you still want to?’ Honesty is essential, as is a more grown-up approach. Remember, if your partner does say no, he or she is not rejecting you, they are merely declining sex with you at that moment.
START TALKING DIRTY OVER THE WASHING-UP
Some couples believe that any conversation and communication surrounding sex takes the ‘romance’ out of it, and that somehow staying silent makes sex more ‘spontaneous’.
But we would never cook from a recipe without using the correct terms, for example, ‘baking’. A common vocabulary is essential whenever two people want to pursue a joint project, from baking a cake to sharing sex.
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